People love to judge other people - What if the conclusions could really hurt someone? - MEC workshop

People love to judge other people – What if the conclusions could really hurt someone?

Judge nothing, you will be happy. Forgive everything, you will be happier. Love everything, you will be happiest
People love to judge other people – What if the conclusions people jump to could really hurt someone? and how can you control such situations? Not many people would be aware if they were, let alone admit to being so, but it’s so easy to form a judgement about a person or situation without knowing all the facts. What if the conclusions people jump to could hurt someone? I like to think there are very few people who would intentionally want to hurt others. The reality nowadays is the opposite, and people have become more self-centred. Can you do if you feel misunderstood or judged? And what about miss-perception? Does it fall into judgment too? “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself” – Earl Nightingale For some reason, people love to judge other people. I know firsthand because I’m guilty of doing it too. I don’t do it as much as I used to before, but I still catch myself doing it more often than I should.

Whenever I slip up and start judging others, I take a step back and remind myself that we usually judge others in the areas where we feel insecure and weak.

JOHN 8:7, VIZ. “HE THAT IS WITHOUT SIN AMONG YOU LET HIM FIRST CAST A STONE AT HER.”

If people sin differently than you, it doesn’t make them wrong or unworthy. Give it a thought, and no one is perfect or with no sin; hence look within and work on yourself first before lecturing or trying to “fix” other people.

Now, what can you do when put in a crucial situation where you are harshly judged; I drafted a few pointers which you should always remind yourself of to control any case you are in:

1.     The only person who can know the absolute truth about you is you. People can and will have their own opinions but never start to doubt themselves. Have complete faith in who you are, and don’t let other’s “perception” of you become your reality. As I always say and would like you to always keep in mind, “perception is projection”. People build stories around the facts, this is given, why for they only know… but you should never forget that when someone d-values you or twist a specific point, it’s all about them and not you…

 

2.     The opinion that really should matter is yours. If somebody doesn’t agree with what you are doing or how you are behaving, take the feedback given as simple feedback, never feel pressured that you need to change because of a reality that is not yours. Have the courage to persist in your convictions, even when others disagree or don’t understand. Take from any observation given the parts you think are relevant to you and the rest just ctrl+alt+del… Do what is right for you. After all, no one is walking in your shoes…

3. People can't "make" you feel anything. I recently was put in a situation where I felt ashamed after being judged so harshly. I felt my body had failed me, putting me in that weak position, and the power I gave to that person over my feelings was hurtful. While I was fully aware that he who angers you controls you, he did at that time as I gave him the power to do so. I know now we can choose how we want to feel and control any situation we are in... Loving yourself isn't conceit; it's self-respect... 4. Never overthink. Someone else's judgment has nothing to do with you. It is all about them; it is so easy to dwell on things, but putting negative energy into running a judgement over and over in your mind; will only make any situation much worse than it is. Overthinking ruins you and twists any case; focus your energy on the positive things. I believe any position you are put in has positive learning within it. Even if at that time you don't see it, you will eventually. It is always an eye-opener about an inevitable reality or truth you were not willing to foresee... 5. If in doubt, ask. If we do not have complete trust in our actions, it can be easy to sense disapproval from others that may not even be there. People think far less of you than you would love to believe; they have their challenges to deal with... My advice is if you want an honest opinion or straightforward answer, ask. Clear communication is far more accessible than second-guessing as miss-perception can ruin things as much as judgement... 6. Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness sets you free. I am an honest person, and having my integrity brought into question temporarily results in my sadness and hurt. Feeding this by overthinking ultimately have had absolutely no effect on anybody else but me. Experience has taught me that forgiving others and myself for a mistake or a specific behaviour freed and relieved me from any situation, which helped me move on...Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got 7. Have empathy. People with limited perception and stubborn opinions will have a more challenging life than you, trust me on that. Keep your humanity no matter what. Remember, no one will stand at your funeral and say, "she had a costly car and amazing shoes" don't make life about stuff. Make it about people, moments by spreading love, kindness and compassion... Finally, keep in mind that an intelligent person knows what to say, but a wise person knows whether to say it or not...

3.     People can’t “make” you feel anything. I recently was put in a situation where I felt ashamed after being judged so harshly. I felt my body had failed me, putting me in that weak position, and the power I gave to that person over my feelings was hurtful. While I was fully aware that he who angers you controls you, he did at that time as I gave him the power to do so. I know now we can choose how we want to feel and control any situation we are in… Loving yourself isn’t conceit; it’s self-respect…

4.     Never overthink. Someone else’s judgment has nothing to do with you. It is all about them; it is so easy to dwell on things, but putting negative energy into running a judgement over and over in your mind; will only make any situation much worse than it is. Overthinking ruins you and twists any case; focus your energy on the positive things. I believe any position you are put in has positive learning within it. Even if at that time you don’t see it, you will eventually. It is always an eye-opener about an inevitable reality or truth you were not willing to foresee…

5.     If in doubt, ask. If we do not have complete trust in our actions, it can be easy to sense disapproval from others that may not even be there. People think far less of you than you would love to believe; they have their challenges to deal with… My advice is if you want an honest opinion or straightforward answer, ask. Clear communication is far more accessible than second-guessing as miss-perception can ruin things as much as judgement…

 

6.     Forgive yourself and others. Forgiveness sets you free. I am an honest person, and having my integrity brought into question temporarily results in my sadness and hurt. Feeding this by overthinking ultimately have had absolutely no effect on anybody else but me. Experience has taught me that forgiving others and myself for a mistake or a specific behaviour freed and relieved me from any situation, which helped me move on…Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got

7.     Have empathy. People with limited perception and stubborn opinions will have a more challenging life than you, trust me on that. Keep your humanity no matter what. Remember, no one will stand at your funeral and say, “she had a costly car and amazing shoes” don’t make life about stuff. Make it about people, moments by spreading love, kindness and compassion…

Finally, keep in mind that an intelligent person knows what to say, but a wise person knows whether to say it or not…

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